I guess things are gonna change

I’ve been thinking about change a lot lately. About the changes we have to resolve ourselves to make, the ones we want to make but are too scared to make. About changes that are forced upon us, about changes that we can do nothing about.

And it’s all scary. Even the changes we want to make most. I’m not treading any new ground in saying this. We’re all terrified of it. How do we know that it’ll work out for the best when we make those changes? How can we cope knowing that decisions that will affect our lives are made without us?

We can’t know the future, and the comfort of the past leaves us a cushion to fall back on. When that cushion is ripped away from us and we can’t continue to rely on it, moving forward is scary. It’s scary because our safety is gone. Experience has trained us to expect that cushion to be there for us and when it isn’t, we don’t know who or what to turn to when things potentially go wrong. And so sometimes it’s easier to just hide away from it. When the change is in our control we can choose to leave things as they are, instead. We can sit and stare at it until the opportunity has run itself dry and be left to wonder “what if?” It’s an all too easy option. Change could lead to something better in those cases, but the possibilities of what could go wrong can keep us from making the decision. Our choices define us, and sometimes, it’s hard to live up to that expectation.

Change begets change. Sometimes, the unforeseen ones have the largest impact. There are people who touch our lives that must leave it.  We have to deal with that when it comes, be reminded of the temporary nature of relationships, of the impact one person can have on us. And I’m not even talking about people passing away—people move, they graduate, they find new opportunities—they move on. And we have to let them, and we have to move on for ourselves. When that is our only option there is nothing to do but ponder what the change means, what we can learn from it and how to create a new world of comfort for ourselves. Ponder the relationships we have now and how to make the most of them—say what we want to say, ask what we want to ask, let people know what they mean to you.

“In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.” – Charlie Brown

We have to find our own answers and judge for ourselves how to deal with change and how to confront it. Because when we look back on our lives, there’s nothing we can do about the changes that have happened and the ones we have failed to make happen. I’m not an expert, I don’t even take my own advice, but things are always changing. We should, at least, control the ones we can and embrace the uncertainty. Maybe I’ll do that.